What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
We may be on a one way street hurtling towards death but there's no need to succumb to mediocrity ~ Nyad
I confess, I was reluctant to watch Nyad - the film that came out this past year about the swimmer Diana Nyad with Annette Bening and Jodie Foster. Felt a bit guilty that my reluctance was perhaps driven by ageism - but maybe it was just not wanting to watch something that would be like looking in a mirror and having to confront my own aging! Who wants to spend 2 hours watching 2 cranky older women grappling with becoming invisible. Oufff
But you know what? It was absolutely wonderful. I loved it. It was uplifting and inspiring. Brilliant line after brilliant line. Full of wisdom, self-irony, and compassion.
Today, a new dawn, a new day, the first day of a new year… as I sit here in the early morning light with my coffee, I’m taking a moment to reflect.
My recent piece about entering the invisible age seemed to strike a chord with quite a few people, both men and women. Every age has its challenges but the 50s seem to be particularly tough. A turning point for many.
These past few years have brought huge transformations in my life, some welcome, some less so. Like Nyad, I am approaching my 60th birthday. Not this year but soon. I’m not afraid of getting old and, unlike Nyad, don’t have any grand passion or achievement that I feel driven to accomplish but I do want to live a life that has meaning, one that gives me purpose, brings me joy and serenity. So, this question - recurring in the film, taken from Mary Oliver’s poem ‘The Summer Day’ - what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? has been on my mind quite a lot since watching the film.
What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Good question! It feels like I have done quite a lot in my almost 6 decades here. Much of it has been unplanned, serendipitous, spontaneous, in the moment. I have few regrets and even those, in some way, have been moments of learning and insight, helped me grow into the person I am today. For the most part, I feel grateful and blessed. And, as my grandfather used to say when I called and asked him how he was, ‘I’m still breathing!’ hahaa yes, there is still life and more life to live.
What I’d really like is
to write more - to continue with this kind of writing and also tell the stories of loved ones now gone perhaps mainly for my daughter and eventual, if any, grandchildren. I have a few book projects rumbling around.
to paint more - to continue exploring art making. I find it enormously therapeutic. It’s more the playing with colours than anything. It’s calming and uplifting at the same time.
to live well - to continue prioritising my health, researching and applying lessons from the Blue Zone, to continue gardening and seasonal cooking, and to continue with my husband on realising our farm project. I’d like to dive deeper into growing and working with edible flowers and essential oil making.
to support other women - to continue with my coaching practice, my blog, and run retreats which empower women, especially those in their 50s, to live their best lives.
and most of all, to surround myself with love - to spend quality time with the people I love - my daughter, my husband, my mother, sister, other family, and friends.
It’s not much, is it? Do the above speak of mediocrity? I guess mediocrity is a subjective concept. Everyone has their own definition of what mediocrity means for them. Your dream is your dream. Your life and your values are yours. It’s not for anyone else to judge. It’s not for anyone else to decide whether it’s right for you or not, or whether it’s mediocre or not. For me, these plans, resolutions, or manifestations, whatever you want to call them, are about quality of life, about balancing and nurturing ‘mind, body, soul’.
When Nyad reached shore, with 2 ankles out of the water, she had three things to say:
never, ever give up
you’re never too old to chase your dreams
it looks like a solitary sport but it takes a team
This resonated. Key take-aways for me watching Nyad, in no particular order, were:
The importance of taking personal responsibility for ourselves - as Bonnie says in the film, ‘your will, your mind will take you there. No one else can help you get there.’
The value of true friendship and having a support network - often, as Nyad remarks, it takes a village and she could’t have done it without a great team. Real friends, like Bonnie, love and support you and are not afraid to challenge either, helping one to transform weaknesses into strengths. Community is a key element in the Blue Zone principles;
The benefits of natural movement - in this film swimming was the focus and a great form of natural movement as it’s a whole body workout, easy on the joints. This is actually one of the key lessons from the Blue Zone and walking, especially uphill, is considered one of the best forms of natural movement;
The importance of purpose and mission - doing what ignites and feeds your soul but also remembering that it’s often more about the journey than the destination. Again, a Blue Zone lesson! We need that thing that gets us up in the morning, that gives our life meaning, and connection with nature to connect with ourselves;
The importance of wisdom, humility, and grace to change course - remaining flexible and agile and also, perhaps, curious as you navigate life. Even when you’ve done everything possible, sometimes external forces like mother nature may decide to block you but at the end of the day the only one who gets to decide if it’s over is you. It’s always your call and there’s no shame on pressing pause or taking a step back to reevaluate or start again.
The importance of resilience, persistence, and patience - it’s about not leaving room for imagining defeat. As Nyad says, everyone expects her to ‘shut my mouth, sit down, shut up and wait to die. I won’t. I can’t accept defeat.’
The importance of you! Self-love is a radical emotion. It’s often associated with arrogance and selfishness but it’s not selfish at all. Prioritising ourselves and our self-care and well-being is the foundation for all. It’s like the instructions for oxygen masks on an airplane. We can’t give from an empty cup. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. The longest relationship we’ll have in life is with ourselves and it’s as deserving of as much love, attention, and energy as any other relationship - perhaps more. As Nyad says, when accused of having a superiority complex, ‘everyone should feel like the star of their own life’.
One of my favourite lines was Nyad’s response to experts saying her plan was ‘not for a woman, not for someone your age’ and she replied, ‘well, fuck that!’
Our film is not about a record. Our film is not about how many times someone was touched. It’s about how a woman woke up at 60 and realized she wasn’t finished, even though the world may be finished with her.1
So, fuck that! Go out and live your life! Follow your dreams, do what lights up your soul, makes your heart sing! After all, we only have one wild and precious life.
Well, that’s me. Your turn! What are you reflecting on on this new dawn, new day, first day of this new year? Drop me a note in the comments below.
ciao per ora bellissime sorelle
F ox
Some film reviews:
PS Come join me in the Facebook community group of the same name where there is more space for people to initiate discussion and might be fun to start a little book club together! Search Facebook for @bluestockings or go directly using this link The Blue Stockings Society - women who think, write, create
PPS I’ve recently started collaborating with a friend on a new, women only, retreat in June 2024 curated around this theme of salt water, the cure for everything. We’re calling it ‘Salacia’ after the sea goddess. It’s going to be fun!
PPPS Make yourself a priority in 2024! I have a free, short Self-care Guide which draws on both the 7 chakras and Blue Zone principles. It’s available on the self-care page of my site and there are some coaching exercises there too for you if you’re interested or you can just download the guide.
